How to deal with my dear friend's abortion and my TTC?

Question

How to deal with my dear friend's abortion and my TTC?
I found out that one of my really good friends is having an abortion and it upsets me. She was dating a guy and got pregnant she was on the pill and still got pregnant....errr! Anyways she is very free and fun loving....however she says that having a child is not a responsibility that she wants to take on now or maybe even ever. So she is having an abortion. She is 30 and has a great business of her own. She didn't even want me to know about the pregnancy or the abortion but a mutual friend told me and I asked her and she told me it was true. She felt that it wouldn't be in my best interest not to know. She is very head strong and set on having an abortion and adoption is not and option for her at all. I even said that I would take the child.
Anyway she has been a dear, dear friend since high school and I guess I am jealous that she got pregnant so easy and fast. Even while being on the pill and they were only dating for two months! I have being ttc for 1 year! She has been there for me through my ttc and other issues. She is a great friend. However she said that she still wants to travel and shop and just be free...she said she doesn't want the responsibility...It just makes me upset that I want what she can have. I guess what I am asking is how do I deal with her abortion and also my feelings? I do love my friend

Answer 1

That's a tough situation. But try not to be mad at her, because tried to prevent herself from getting pregnant.

The best thing you can do, is try and put your feelings aside and support your friend. You said she was there to support you for your TTC time.



Just know that you WILL get a baby eventually, and you shouldn't hold that she got pregnant accidentally against her.



This is something that will change your guys friendship no matter what. But how it changes it has a lot to do with how you start behaving. If you really value her friendship, just try and not let it bother you and support her.



Edit// An abortion does not raise your risk of cancer or death or infertility. It's just as risky as any other medical procedure. And most women actually feel relived after an abortion. Please don't try to scare your friend out of having one like the post below me suggested. That is really wrong, and showing that you do not respect her own decision making

Answer 2

Omg I am in a very similar situation..My very best friend got pregnant while on the pill and the worst part is that its not her boyfriends and now she wants to have an abortion and wants me to help her as in take her to the clinic and help her get home safely....I feel horrible because I have been ttc with my hubby for a while now and this is like a huge slap in the face for me...I dont judge her by telling her anything but it is hard to be there for her when I am on the completely opposite side of her situation...I guess all we can do is respect their decision and jst try as much to be there for them without going out of our way. Good luck and I wish u lots of baby dust and good luck to ur friend.

Answer 3

I'm sorry that you are in a tough situation. Your friend is like many women that do not want their lifestyle to change. Unfortunately these women often choose to kill their unborn child rather than gain weight and be scrutinized by friends and family. It is very sad.

Look in the phone book yellow pages under Abortion Alternatives. See if she will go with you so that she will know all the possible complications associated with abortion such as breast cancer, infertility and death.

If she goes through with the abortion encourage her to contact Rachel's Vineyard. It will help her deal with the inevitable guilt. As much as it hurts, she needs your friendship. Pray for guidance and I will pray for you, your friend and her baby. Take care.

Answer 4

If you can't be supportive of her decision then don't say anything at all about it. I hope that you will get your baby that you want, but not everybody wants that and she's not a bad person or wrong because of her choice. I hope you can support your friend when she needs it, since she has been supportive of you. Good luck.